March 31, 2008
Well yes, thats what I think I’m having – an interesting couple of weeks! There’s a lot of stuff in my thoughts and emotions that seems to be shifting around at the moment and it’s not at all easy to deal with! I’ve been doing a bit of thinking and processing around the nature of different sorts of relationships and what a close relationship with someone else really means. I’ve been experiencinga bit of what my counsellor would call dissociative feelings – its kind of like you ara bit dizzy and detached from the real works, but when you stop and think about it you can tell it’s not a physical dizziness but a kind of emotional one. It makes the basics of just getting on with life and work quite difficult! I’m hoping that the shifting around of things will result in a positive move forward for me, not just “rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic”, but I guess only time will tell!
In the meantime any prayers would be welcomed!
March 14, 2008
the Groom at the wedding being held at church tomorrow is the son of the family you lodged with when you first started working and you still remember him as being aged 9!
March 14, 2008
you come out of Asda and realise you hav absolutely no recollection of where you left your car! (Think it took me about 10 minutes to find it!)
March 2, 2008
So many thanks to those who fixed the wibsite – and so many apologies for my poor posting rate of late. Actually, I’ve been struggling a bit recently. I’ve just felt so tired all the time and it’s been really hard to just to keep going with everyday things. I’ve come to the conclusion this weekend that it’s been a symptom of depression – that desperate desire to stay curled up in bed and sleep, rather than facing the world. Funnily enough, having decided that, things seem a little bit easier!
Anyhow, for your delectation and delight, I wrote another poem today. For once I decided to experiment with regular rhythm and rhyme! I think it’s only a first draft and may get changed later, but for the moment anyway – here it is!
Did Jacob?
The daffodils have flowered once again.
Those hopeful heralds of another spring,
So heedless of the coming wind and rain,
Oblivious to future suffering.
The daffodils have blossomed once again,
To show in root, shoot, bud and dancing flower
The poignant little child who dared to hope;
The tender green before the day turns sour.
Now cradled in the warmth of my cocoon
I seek the safety of my shell within.
Curled up within the darkness of the corm
but hoping, aching, crying, withering.
I hear your voice, your love is calling; yet
I find myself still wrestling with you.
Did Jacob, as he limped towards the sun
See daffodils too?
